A lot can happen
by ColdCoffeee
Summary: "3,000 miles is a long way, 4 years is a long time.. A lot can happen." What do they have to give up? What are they willing to lose? Will they make it through or all end in sorrow? Paily. Two or three shot. Set in 4x09
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I considered 4x09 a break-up. It was an extremely easy break-up. Neither Emily nor Paige seems to care much about it. My take on the break-up. Reviews would be appreciated. Also I'll update my other story soon! **

"3,000 miles is a long way. 4 years is a long time.. A lot can happen"

Silence.

Paige was right. A lot can happen. Anything can happen.

_Flashback_

"_You and me in sweet Pari?" _

"_How about forever?"_

_The urge was messing with Emily. She toyed with the idea of leaning in and capturing those lips. But she resisted the temptation. Emily didn't want to ruin their friendship. But how could she keep those thoughts at bay when Ali's talking about Paris. The city of love. She's talking about forever. Emily didn't understand but her stomach was fluttering. She has never felt so happy, so high. Ali's feeding her a drug that is herself and Emily is enjoying the kinda high she felt._

"_If I'm kissing you, it's because it's practice for the real thing"_

_And then she knows what it feels to come crashing down. Her heart sunk. Her eyes watery. She doesn't know why it's affecting her this way. She never reacted this way when Ben is being an asshole or is checking out another girl. She would get mad, walk away and ignore him for a few days. And then they'd make up and that's it. It wasn't a hurt kinda mad, it's more out of pride. She should have known. She never really cared about Ben that much. Or in that way. Or in any way. She just thought he was attractive. Her friends thought he was attractive. When he hits on her, she was flattered. Too young and too naïve to understand that her feelings wasn't one out of attraction but more of insecurity._

She doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to be the one to get left behind. But that's just it. She's getting left behind. By Paige. The one person she thought she could always count on to be there. To love her unconditionally. To always wait for her. Paige is leaving her behind and starting a whole new life, her dream life. 3,000 miles away. Far far away where girls would hit on her and flirt with her girlfriend. The thought made her nausea. Girls would want Paige in a way Rosewood girls didn't. How could she ever compete with a college girl? She's just Emily. Plain Emily. Boring and insecure. Stuck in Rosewood. She couldn't stand the thought of Paige eventually giving up on her to be with some college chick who's way hotter.

"We have to face facts; we're not going to be together next year"

Paige's sobs filled her ears. Ringing. The sounds she hated. The tears she caused. Guilt. Devastated. Heartbroken. Torn. It was too much. Emily was overwhelmed by what she just implied. She needed to get away. She needed air. Emily can't breathe. She feels like her world is falling apart, it's finally crumbling down. It's not the same as how she felt about Alison. Alison messed her. Paige, however, broke her completely. She needs this girl. She doesn't know how she could survive another heartbreak. She didn't know how she managed to fall in love again. She's broken. She's wrong. Everything wrong in life. Everything wrong for Paige. But she needs Paige. She needs Paige as much as she needs air.

Emily didn't realize she had been running. She was deep in a trail she didn't recognize. How did she get here? Hot tears were falling freely down her cheeks. Her lungs were screaming for air. She didn't know how long she had been running. But she did. And she can't see anything. She can't hear anything. The cabin is out of sight. The music has faded. Where was she? How did she get here? How will she find her way back?

It didn't matter.

She didn't want to go back.

She had broken up with Paige.

They aren't together more.

Paige isn't hers anymore.

She lost Paige.

She lost love.

She can't love.

And she stayed that way, hugging herself. She was lying on dirt but it didn't matter. Her arms hugged her legs as she cried. Exhausted. Emily doesn't want to move. She dare not move for she can't bear to break another piece of herself. She feared if she moves, her world would fall apart. But what she didn't understand was how could it hurt so bad if her world hasn't already fell apart?

"Em. Em, I'm here" she can't see. She didn't want to open her eyes. But Emily hears her voice and she clung to that. Whether it's real or sweet hallucination, she held on to that voice.


	2. I can't stay

**Author's Note: Second chapter of this two-shot. Happy reading! **

She can't look away. She didn't dare move an inch. This wasn't ideal but if this is the end, she wanted to hold on to this. The look on her girl when she sleeps was her favorite view. It had always been. She tried to hold it in, but she's crying for the millionth time tonight. She didn't want to lose the beautiful girl in her view. She wanted a lifetime together. Why is life so cruel? Why does it have to be so hard? She never gets what she wants. She didn't dare want, unless that want is the desire to win. One time, she let herself loose. Fall in love with her dream girl. One time, she finally gets the girl after constantly being second choice. She was never Emily's first choice. There was Alison. And Maya. And Samara. And Alison. And Maya. Alison and Maya was something Paige had to constantly compete with for Emily's affection. Even from the grave, they still held a special place in Emily's heart. Paige understood. That was what Emily was for her. She knew the feeling too well. And Emily is someone who is going to occupy her heart for a long time, if not forever.

After everything she had been through to finally be enough for Emily. She's losing Emily. Again. The first time they dated, Paige was a jerk. She was so insistent on keeping it a secret, she lost the girl along the way. Her dream girl. How she was so stupid was beyond her. She was just so scared of being found out. So embarrassed. So insecure. But Emily gave her a second chance. A chance to redeem herself. Come out. Just come out. Try. Try to come out. Just try, it'd be enough. But she couldn't follow through. She lost Emily to Samara. The pretty blonde who's out and willing to take Emily out on dates. Again, it was beyond her how she let Emily slip. She was so close, but she lost the girl anyways. They say third time is a charm. Paige was out. Emily was single. But a dead girlfriend and another dead best friend doesn't make it ideal for Paige to make a move. So she settled on being what Emily needs, a friend. Even if it broke her heart. That night, when Emily came to her house and tells her she was what Emily was looking for. Paige thought she was dead and went to heaven. Paige wasn't religious. She was rebellious. And mean. And harmed herself. Paige wasn't nice. She was competitive. And selfish. So Paige didn't understand how she could be so lucky. But she was determined. Be everything Emily needs. Never hurt her. Fight for the girl, don't lose her again. But right this moment, Paige doesn't know what the right thing to do is. She lost the girl right? Were they broken up? Are they breaking up? Is there any way to keep the girl and keep her dream too? So many questions, so little answers. And at this point, Paige wished she was religious. So she could ask. She knew from experience that asking won't give the certainty of answers. But right now, she just needed to ask.

Why? Why was she losing Emily? Why, after all this time? Did she sin so bad that she has to lose the one person that makes her human? Was she so bad, that giving her best wouldn't be enough? Why? Why must this happen to her? Paige wasn't self-absorbed. She knew there were worst things in the world. People are starving. Kids are suffering. Someone is dying. She wasn't oblivious or insensitive but she means it when she says she'd rather be any of those people rather than lose Emily. Emily was the best thing that ever happened to her. The most humane. Emily was the thing that made her live, not like she was dying. But Paige was never contented, never as appreciative of life as when she was with Emily. Emily makes her want to be a better person. Emily made her see the bad in the world and be glad of the things that she has been luckily handed. She made Paige see the beauty in life.

She needs Emily.

Emily was her anchor.

Her kryptonite.

Emily is everything.

But she's losing this fight. There's nothing she could do. She already did everything. She managed to convince Emily to come to Stanford. She already helped her with Dominique. She's willing to do more, try harder. But Emily already said it, the final words. They aren't going to be together. She wants to fight harder. But what if this is what Emily wants? What if, just maybe, Emily doesn't want to swim? She doesn't want to go to Stanford. She doesn't want to be stuck with Paige for 4 years. She wants an out. If that's what Emily really wants, she has to respect it. She had to let Emily go. Physically at least. Coz she know Emily would always be the one. The one she wants. The one she loves. The first. The one in a million. Emily was her forever even if she isn't.

She already had her chance. She was pushing her luck. It's time to go. She can't bear to see Emily awake and telling her again that they're over. She needs to go. She wiped furiously at the tears on her face. She needs to make herself decent before leaving. Paige needs to face Emily's friends. She needs them to take care of her. Make sure she's ok. That someone would be there for Emily while she can't. And she know just the person she should entrust.


End file.
